I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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