I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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