I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Who died my cat blue again?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
