One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize
