Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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