I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is Oprah even human
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
