oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
