My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
