you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
