I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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