Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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