I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's blow job season.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
