Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
