drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize