i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
