I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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