LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize