If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
