her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize