I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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