so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
