before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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