We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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