This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
