By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
