ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
