I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
