In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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