I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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