there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
