his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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