Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
