look no pants
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize