the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I am available for nakedness
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
