This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize