I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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