If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So much Jack, so little girl.
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