remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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