Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
