its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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