Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
PS: I just woke up from my shower
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
