dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
