when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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