I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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