seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
