she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
