theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
