i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
bring money and cleavage
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Even my vagina gasped.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
