I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
