how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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