i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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