HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
