Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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