In the future we'll all be gay
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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