you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
it's like iHOP with fire
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
