This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just found puke in my bra..
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I party with great urgency now.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
