Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
