"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I need a burrito and a hug.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize