I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
