I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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