guys are not supposed to queef...right?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
